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Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Happy marriage life

World Watching - 5:36 PM

Happy marriage life

Getting married is easy. Being married can be trickier. Here is some expert advice to avoid or correct six common mistakes that can cost a marriage, or at the least, weaken its foundations. Whether it’s you or your spouse making these mistakes, taking positive action can make a big difference.
Some wives are too willing to give up on what they want, says Susan Heitler, PhD. She is a Denver-based clinical and author of a marriage skills-building course.
Heitler calls it appendage-itis, in which the wife is basically being an accessory to the husband, instead of being a full and equal partner in the marriage.
Some women tend to be all about him rather than all about themselves, as men tend to be, Heitler says. Usually, they’re afraid it could make a fight or some unpleasantness, or they just think somehow, on a subconscious level, in order to preserve the relationship, they have to diminish what they themselves want, she says. The sense of helplessness leads to anger that eventually boils over, she says.

Her solution? Express your concerns rationally, whether about housework orparenting duties, or about not getting enough time with your husband or for yourself. He may like golfing on weekends while she may want him around for family time, for example. If she spoke up, they might be able to work out a better arrangement, Heitler says. Maybe they’d switch to a softball league in the summer where it would be a family event.
A vacation is suppose to be a time for relaxation and enjoyment. For a couple, it can be a great way to find out more about each other and to spend lots of uninterrupted time together. But do note that by spending 24/7 with someone else, you are putting your bonds with that person to the test. Can you tolerate some of his/her living habits or does it irk you to no end? A recent survey found that 66% of couples get into fights on trips and up to 25% of the first argument occurs before the third day of the trip.
To prevent this from happening and to ensure you only bring home good memories with you, we want to share some suggestions on making your next upcoming holiday an argument-free one!

1. Plan and agree on activities to do there
It may sound really simple but majority of arguments arise from disagreeing on how to spend the time while on vacation. Maybe he was hoping to try white water rafting but all she wants is to laze by the beach and get a tan. Or he may want to go on a nature trek but she wants to do more shopping. Avoid this by discussing and planing what to do on each day of the trip. Compromise with each other and fill the holiday schedule with activities both of you will enjoy.
2. Respect each others’ habits and differences
A holiday is not a time for you to evaluate your other half’s every habit and nag at them for not doing it the way you would. Differences are absolutely fine so don’t sweat the small stuff. If you have something that you really cannot stand, point it out nicely and ask if they want to try changing it. Who knows, you might actually be surprised that they will.
3. Work out a budget together
Planning how much to bring and spend will minimize stress, as money is a common source of arguments. Work out approximately how much both of you will bring, factoring in meals, activities and shopping. This will not only prevent a couple fighting over money, it will help you stick to your budget to avoid returning home with a huge hole in your pocket!
4. Do your homework
It is important to gather sufficient information prior to the trip. Information such as currency, location of the hotel, nearby amenities, mode of local transport to get around, weather, dress code of places you intend to visit etc. are essential to ensure you enjoy a fuss free vacation. While no one hopes for anything bad to happen, you sure do not want to be caught off guard should something such as loss of baggage or injuring yourself happen.


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